Some years ago, I was asked to help develop some sort of guideline for “consent for burns“. What came out was a draft that has been used, or built upon, in some events, Nowhere for example…
Clear Continuous Consent
or: consent for burns and other community driven events
Give only what’s appreciated, take only what’s offered.
As a community, we want to be free to express ourselves, to share, to co-create, to be in the moment: but when our actions directly alter someone else’s experience, we need to get their consent.
Because ANYTHING wonderful can be terrible if given without consent: this includes sex, experiences, food, any form of touch, a picture taken, even a cool spray of water: they can be a nightmare for some people. What feels great for you right now could be what someone else really does NOT want. Even you could not want it at a different point in time.
What is this?
An experiment in having a short, “fun” description of why consent is important in events like Nowhere, Borderlands, and other burns. Sometime proposed as the “11th principle” (after the 10
command… ehm, principles), but I always found it lacking sparkle. This is an attempt.
Because realizing that what you gave with love was experienced in pain is horrible too: just go the extra step to check.
We promise: you will find people that want and appreciate what you have to offer, or want to offer what you want to receive: find them. Have a blast.
And how can you find them if you don’t ask? Don’t settle for anything less than hell, yeah: you deserve it!
If you want to participate, here is the request for comments.